Saturday, December 05, 2020

Freewrite 12/13/18

Tomorrow is a big day.  Last day of the semester, lots of tidying up and just general life stuff to deal with.  By general life stuff I mean packing and returning text books and all that jazz. I actually really like that kind of stuff.  Doing things where you can see a clear before and after and your hard work can be wrapped up and tidily viewed as complete.  I actually love cleaning my room, I haven’t always but I think as I got more into theatre and work that doesn’t have a defined ending I started to value a job that you can do and complete more.  But beyond tomorrow, Saturday is actually what I want to talk about.  Saturday I am flying home!  Woohoo!  I do not like flying.  I definitely went through a bit of a thing with that where being on planes really stressed me out.  As with my enjoyment of cleaning, this is a newer thing.  I have been traveling and going on airplanes since I was a baby so you would think that I would be used to it but somewhere around 16, I started to freak out about it.  Now I have a travelers necklace that I wear whenever I travel anywhere.  I don’t use it for driving around the city but if I’m taking a bus to New York or flying to Scotland it’s always on and stays on until I’m back home.  My aunt actually got me my first traveler’s necklace when I was a baby, but being a baby I broke it and we intended to get a new chain but then we lost it.  I spent years talking about it and wishing I had one and then my mum found one at an antique store in North Berwick, Scotland.  I’ve been wearing that one since 2016 or so.  The necklace has two sides, the first has Saint Christopher who is the patron saint of travelers and the other side has little etchings of a plane and a train and various modes of transportation.  I’m not a religious person so sometimes I feel a little bit out of place wearing a saint around my neck, but I figured that just in case it’s better to have the protection.  Besides, it’s not really about a logical thing.  I know that should a plane crash a necklace probably will not save my life, but I don’t tell myself that.  I choose to believe in it and that’s enough, after all, so far its had a 100% success rate.  I traveled for the first time by myself this summer.  In Europe, my friend Castelle and I took a train trip from Paris, France to Edinburgh, Scotland and then we both flew back separately.  The flight from Edinburgh to Los Angeles was quite the experience.  I had a layover in Chicago where I almost missed my connection but ultimately I made it and ultimately everything was fine.  While airports used to freak me out a bit, traveling by myself has given me a different sense of things.  I know take the time to people watch, the little kids with their tiny suitcases, the tired parents, the college students going home, the musicians traveling with their instruments.  I’ve been all of them (except for the tired parent).  When I was five we moved from Santa Monica to Australia, when I was 14 I toured Europe with my orchestra, and now I find myself traveling home.  I found myself thinking about my necklace a lot lately in relation to home.  I mentioned that when I travel I wear it until I return home.  But do I keep wearing it when I’m in LA?  Am I traveling or am I home?  It’s hard to tell.  I wore it for all of Thanksgiving Break because I felt that I wasn’t back long enough to settle into home, but now I’m back for a month.  I’ll probably take it off and I’m probably overthinking it.  Then again, it’s a pretty necklace I might keep it on just for the sake of wearing it.  Either way I’m glad I have it.

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